Stephen, there are so many things to say... / Vanessa Wetterau (stepcousin. & friend. )
Memories of Stephen:
I can still remember a bunch of silly things that Stephen Jennifer and I did and said as kids. I remember that one of his favorite movies was space jams and he was into sports and hiphop. Because the song i believe i cay fly was on that movie, all i can do when i hear it is think of him. I can remember the chicago bulls and dallas cowboys stuff that he wore. Theres alot of things that i do not know for sure what happened with Stephen or his life though. I barely knew anything about him after, i guess, about the time he went to live in nashville with his dad. I knew that he was still into hiphop and stuff. what i do know about him after he moved to cashville is only hear-say or from his mouth when ever i ran into him and the last conversation he had on the phone with my mom about how his life was going (which was about a year before he past away (i think)) What i do know is that he did have it rough. Rick is completely right about the way people responded to his persona. Adults in our family (especially my dad) were always so hard on him because he was hyper or because of his clothes. Kids will be hyper. Clothes are just expression, and that's just how he always wore them. (the best i can remember- backwards or sideways hat jerseys or baggy tshirts and pants saggin') so what.. jennifer and i still looked up to him. It's him that made us laugh and smile.
Feelings:
I wish i could've known him better in his teenage years though. What hurts the most though, is that i didnt even get to see him one last time when he past on. I was told by my grandfather that i wasnt wanted there. It hurt very deeply. Especially when our family from FL was staying at our house. I cried from the time they left to go to his viewing until that night. Just because our family had gotten into a feud over stupid things that I said. I was just eleven years old when i said them. I didnt know what i was talking about. i was eleven. I am sorry for saying those hurtful things and wish i could take them all back. I am 19 years old now and no where near that same 11 year old kid. I am glad that I have a friendship and able to be family with jennifer again. I am very greatful to you guys for letting her spend time with me. I just wish our whole family could be together again. My heart goes out to you no matter what. Here's a poem i wrote shortly after stephen passed:
Most of the time death brings a family closer together if a member passes on, but in some situations it pushes them farther apart. It breaks everyones heart. Their crying eyes cry with no sight. Their broken hearts bleed internally at night. They can't sleep because all they want to do is fight. I guess someone else will go toward the light before anything can be made right. Everyone is filled with fright. They have to wait for the day that the sun shines bright. Until then it's crying eyes and bleeding hearts.
Stephen, you are missed greatly. It still seems unreal that you are gone. because I only saw you every once in a while toward the end of your life. Im serious man. I really thought I saw you not to long ago at a gas station. I yelled, "Ste..."and then stopped. the guy turned around and looked at me like i was stupid... and i just got in to my car and drove away crying. Now you probably laughed at me for making a fool of myself. haha. but I seriously thought about you for a long time that day. Pondering if you were really gone. I dream about you everyonce in a while. Just dreams about you, some friends, my boyfriend, jenn, and i kickin it. playing cards or watching tv. I wish you were still here so we could do that.... People have told me before that when someone passes on, they visit you in your dreams to let you know that they are doing fine in their afterlife. I seriously hope that is true. Jenn and I keep you alive though by talking about memories with you and remembering you quite a bit. (i just thought of this, but remember fix-a-flat and elfshoes and that phrase"killed that lip, SIZZLE!"then me and jenn changed it to "SPARKLE!"- haha! There were so many others though..) Peace and Love, homie. :) nothing but the best wishes.
Rick, this is the first time i have view this site. It is beautiful. I am glad that Stephen had someone like you in his life. I have never met you, but You are an incredible man. :)
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